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Bushmaster78FS
02-03-2006, 01:54
Hey there folks,


Long time no see, how's everyone doing? It's been a while since those days I was very active in this forum, though I always considered I had quite a bit supporting friends here. I am kind of going through some emotional cycles of life so I thought I'd drop by and give some of you a headache, bear with me.


Well, here I go, as some of you out there might know, I am an old-timer hardcore mil-spec flight sim fan who started business with his C64 F-16 CP, later transferred to Amiga and practiced and learnt with stars of the day such as Fighter Bomber, F/A-18 Interceptor until that July day in '91 when I met the Amiga version of the F-16 Combat Pilot and was literally blown away with its details, in the following years this particular sim was going to carve the passion of flying and love towards the "viper" pretty deeply.

The more I got familiar with this sim, I realized that I had to lay my hands on this bird and get it into the air in reality, and slowly worked on this goal, years later moved to my dream country, went to flight school, etc. Day in and day out, I was living for my goal of driving a viper one day. However, everytime I felt I got closer, it was moving further away from me. Then came Sept.11. Some of you might remember the ordeal I had to go through. This event put a huge dent in my dream and the timelines, I was never able to recover and get on track again. Finally, when I was turned down for enlistment in the USAF in 2003, it was time to say good-bye to my life long dream, although I wasn't ready. I looked around, shopped around to see if I could do it in the Navy, but that was too far fetched... I knew I could fly in the US Military and I went ahead to realize this dream in the Army. Again I know, I have the ability to get selected and do it (unless my eyes quit on me which they seem like to get worser everyday). Though, this progress has been extremely slow, I started losing patience and motivation.


Couple weeks ago, I was attending a convoy live fire exercise near the DMZ with my unit. It was a pretty boring one until everyone heard that thunderous gun of an A-10 firing at the range ahead ... By the time I looked up, I saw the smoke trail and up ahead the Warthog pulling in a 90 degree bank, rejoining his wingman. That instant, I thought about the pilot flying her, what he was doing, what he was seeing, what he was thinking, I imagined and put myself there, and sadly realized I was trying to kill this passion of flying a military jet deep inside for years and it was not ready to be dead. This passion was not something to be killed or suppressed, even if the chance for me to become an F-16 pilot in this life have passed. Over these years, the dream of being an F-16 pilot has meant to me "terms that sound more like true love or helpless addiction”. It is still there, flaming hot... As some of you might know I have a strong spiritual background, and I am tying this passion of the viper I have to the way I was put together, it feels like I was made to love this aircraft, this profession, however it was never meant to come to me in this life. I have faith in an after life, which I believe includes the part of me that responds to the thrill of being an F-16 pilot, which in my belief, will finally find its fulfillment. I was made in such a way that I respond to the thrill of what F-16 pilots experience in its power, maneuverability, sense of freedom, and the sheer beauty of the machine. This desire is part of my unique makeup. Guys, I know you are calling me a nutcase, I might be...


Well, what to do now? Interesting, this past month was my cut-off age for meeting the USAF OCS board. Funny almost forgot about it. Nowadays, flying Army does not really sound exciting to me anymore, I will still give it a chance, and try it but ... it is just not the same. Like Chief Shephard (may His memory be eternal) said in one of his posts, it is not hot rod jet fighter jock feathers that you get in the Army.

I decided to get back to Falcon which I left in Feb. '03. I am going to dust those old books, CDs, and documents, and that CWU-45 flight jacket with its ACC, F-16 Swirl and Bushmasters patch on it. So help me out here guys, it has been so long I was out of the Falcon circles. What do I have to do to get back on track? I have already ordered F4:AF and thinking about getting a Cougar HOTAS. I have a pretty decent 15.4" screen Vaio Laptop with a GeForce Go 6400 and a 1.86 ghz P4 M.

Most importantly, thanks for taking time and reading. It matters a lot. I was on duty last night and haven't slept for 34 hours, just wanted to pour out what I had inside. Thanks again.

http://www.quebecairforce.com/falcon/Album/RichardGirouard/F-16_Shaw/F-16_Shaw_PilotReady_Bagot_1.jpg

Note: I also posted this on Frug's but for those who don't go there, I thought posting here would be a good idea since I have friends here.

Redstormer
02-03-2006, 02:24
Hello Bushmaster,
welcome back to the Fighter Ops camp :wink2: I think in March/April there will be some extra's again for your rations! :wink2:

Bosniaguy
02-03-2006, 03:42
Welcome aboard!

make sure you have a comfortable chair bud you'll need it ;)

Lance
02-03-2006, 05:44
Welcome back bro! Nice to see you here again! I know where you are coming from, i dont think you are a nutcase ;)
Keep on rockin!

Flip

3rdELTy
02-03-2006, 06:46
Hi Bushmaster! Good to see you again :thumb:

Shatterer of Worlds
02-03-2006, 12:08
Bushmaster, that's a very nice post.

It would be great to say that everyone with a huge desire to fly military jets would get what they wanted. Sadly, reality can seriously slap you in the face. For every pilot who met their dreams there are probably ten + more who do not. There are only so many slots available. I wanted to fly USAF as well but mild color deficiency killed that for me (I didn't even know I had any eye color issues until it was diagnosed). Despite that I tried in other ways. Finally, just before graduating from college (BYU with a very high GPA), I made another attempt to get into the service. I decided to simply enlist in the Army. I didn't make it past the MEPS stage (I was now diagnosed with a new problem that led them to believe I wouldn't make it through Basic). :mad: Me and people who knew me thought it was the most preposterous thing they had ever heard (as far as I was concerned I was the most physically fit person I knew). Maybe my big mistake was that I didn't challenge it. I figured it was time to move on. Today, some avenues are now closed because I am beyond age limits (among other things). My big dream now is to get a lot of money, finish my PPL and get a few more licences, and train in aerobatics. If I have to pay to fly then so be it. My problem right now is that I am not making any money though. :bigeyes: Well, it's a dream for the future.

Your idea of flying F-16s in an afterlife is not unique to you. I have thought the very same thing. We are both nutcases.

I know for a fact that there are many people here who tried a lot harder than I did to get that magic jet seat and failed. Some at least got in the door and got to compete against others at UPT. Some never made it in the door at all despite their best efforts.

OK, now I'm going to go a little OT:

Now I have turned to computer graphics for a job. My feeling is that if I can't fly then I will get a job that I enjoy to take its place. Now I just need to start making money at it.

Outside of a job I like finding new goals to keep me challenged (some I have met).

In the end, all you can do when all avenues are gone and old challenges are no longer feasible, is to move on and find a new set of goals to challenge you. That's basically what I have done. I'm 37 and I have recently picked up technical rock climbing. At this point I am still a beginner and I look forward to the 2+ week Sierra Nevada tech climbing seminar I will be doing this year. One of my goals (other than becoming an aerobatic pilot) is to climb all of California's 14,000+ foot peaks (there are 15 of them - several of which I have already done). Long term goals include climbing the Matterhorn (not the one at Disneyland - hehe) and the Eiger.

Flying military may be out of my reach now but I can only thank God that I still have great health (despite what the military says) and things to challenge me. I no longer feel the pain I used to feel whenever I saw a mil jet fly overhead, watch a doc on military aviation on TV or attend an airshow. I have a lot to be thankful for in life and I can't complain about that.

Bushmaster78FS
02-03-2006, 12:28
SOW, that was an awesome post, thanks for sharing also. Somehow I have no worries for the rest of my life, I will be doing something to keep living, take care of the family etc. I know I will be flying a lot of realistic sims. The pain is there for me man, when two ship viper formations fly overhead flying towards Osan AB, my eyes still try to find those jets... The pain was more intense when I tried to supress this desire, this flaming passion for flying the viper, I won't supress it anymore. I know deep inside I will get that seat one day. So between this day and that day I finally meet the fulfillment of my desires which were put there by God in the first place, I will just hang in there, do what I am supposed to do. I am glad I have great friends I can talk to... If it wasn't for us, who would make projects like FO reality? I am looking forward to go through UPT with FO even though it is virtual reality...

Shatterer of Worlds
02-03-2006, 12:38
I hope I didn't give too much of an impression in my first post that if a goal doesn't seem feasible, to give it up, move on, and find other things to do. My purpose is to indicate that so long as there is even the slightest possibility to go for it. I personally became comfortable with the reality of my situation and decided to try new things. At the end of the day, if you do 100% of everything you can and still do not make it, don't let it kill you. Life is still worth living.

Oh yeah, keep exploring those avenues and do the best you can. Good luck and may you achieve the goals you set out to accomplish.

grab
02-03-2006, 20:59
Welcome back to the sim world brotha Bushmaster. The only thing I can offer is to say that if it were up to me you would get your chance to fly the Viper with us in a heartbeat. If only all Viper pilots had your pride, sense of duty, and love of flying. Never let yourself get down, you are a fine person and will find your place in life, I am a believer that all good people eventually do. Keep that head up and I promise the sun will shine my friend. Check the Thunderbird schedule at www.usaf.com/thunderbirds (http://www.usaf.com/thunderbirds) out and see if we are coming near you this year, I can get you some nice seats :) Take care bud, Grab

SUBS17
02-04-2006, 01:22
Hey Bushmaster, don't worry heaps of people have missed out on being picked to fly fast jets. Just get a few beers and crank up FC and AF will take your mind off it. :beer: Now is a good time to get into flight sims.:thumb:

Spyder-F16
02-04-2006, 02:57
F-16 or Apache, you're still kicking something's arse off the face of the earth :wink2:

Bushmaster78FS
02-04-2006, 13:04
I know a Lt. Col. at Osan AB, she is an SP but I believe that is enough rank to make me pilot-for-a-day, even it is on the ground. Anyway, guys, now that I am in the Army, and I am still eligible for Warrant Officer Flight Training program (as soon as I get that citizenship, it is process) it deserves a shot... It won't be the same but it deserves my effort, I joined the Army for that reason anyway. But my point was, what kind of passion I had for the Viper and I shouldn't kill or try to supress this passion.

Redstormer
02-04-2006, 14:32
The future is waiting for you Bushmaster , I am sure you when you are old you can look back at a life which is fulfilled with happiness. :bigsmile:

Some wishes will not be fullfilled others where you don't think about at this moment will pop-up at a time you don't expect or haven't foreseen them. May be you have flown a Viper may be you don't, but the passion for flying will keep alive!

We shall have a talk when we are old, but alive and kicking! :wink2: